Gathering the Gleanings: Reflections on Life in the Ministry

As a young person there was always doubt that surrounded my success. Most of it came from others and it also quickly began to become mixed with self doubt. I’m the first person in my family that has a University Degree and theforefore the first to get a Master’s degree and most definitely the first with a doctorate (or at least I don’t believe my nephew or neice have either). So my first “what” is also a wow. I’m the first.

Then there came the completion of my masters degree and my ordination. Oh dear those classes. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I traveled from Canada across the United States to attend Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA. My brain spun and was constantly in thinking and processing mode, as I learned more than I ever thought I could. I can also say I succesfully completed Hebrew and a Hebrew Exegesis class (as you likely read about in a previous post). Hebrew was no easy feat. Might I add, I did all this while falling in love and getting married! What?!

None of this was ever “supposed” to happen. I was told I was not good enough or smart enough to get through a master’s degree, so why was I doing all this to simply make a fool out of myself. On top of my family, along with myself, in addition to the testers who completed my psychological testing (that was mandatory at the time I was seeking ordination) informed me I would not make it through a graduate program and I wasn’t willing to take risks. Let me be clear – I was a risk taker of sorts, I moved to a new country, a week after having been in a major car accident, not knowing anyone, and with little personal “stuff”. Being told I wasn’t willing to take risks and was highly unlikely to complete a graduate program, were not especially great ingredients for a young person trying to persue a degree that seemed far out of her league – or so it felt everyone thought. I finished, I know what?? I was now Rev. Kelly Moore.

Fast forward a bit – after 26 years of marriage, 25 years of ordained ministry, being an adoptive mom of two amazing children, struggling with chronic health issues and mental health diagnosis. I entered school again to obtain my Doctorate of Ministry. My focus was on something that I had personally experienced for the first half of my life and then heard countless stories accounts of in my ministry. I determined it was time to give my internal passion an external voice. I had a story to share. I also needed to determine something critical – did clergy need to have further education when it came to child abuse and neglect? When my research provided that the lack of education clergy had was astounding. My heart broke for the generations of children who had suffered with clergy not being able or willing to help them with the compassion of Christ and yet were quick to find ways to hide behind a vale of secrets and silence. Children were left living in a dark and cold world.

If I wasn’t willing to help break the silence that young people have and speak out, and acknowledge that abuse most definitely happen in the lives of church members and even by that all time favorite patriarch or matriarch. If I was not willing to follow God’s leading and take time to do this, then countless generations in the future would experience the same spiritual pain. Then who would?

My doctorate took so much of my families resources -physical, mental, time, and financial. It wasn’t for me, the pain of my own abuse had been done, I have been in counseling and working through the repercussions of it. Yet if I didn’t do it I would be slamming the door on children of the future, saying “I don’t believe you.”, I would not be investing in their future. So even those days and weeks and sometimes months, I was constantly being reminded of this from those I loved – “Kelly it’s an investment in the children of the future.” of “You have much experience and knowledge that the church NEEDS to hear”. So on I went.

Then a week and a half ago I REALLY did it. I walked across the stage to receive my Doctorate of Ministry degree that the faculty and trustees of Hood Theological Seminary felt I had earned – I did it! I heard my name called, I walked up onto the stage, received my scholarly hood, got handed my degree and shoke President Lattimore’s hand. There were shouts of praise from those gathered, my husband, my children, my family, some church members and a dear dear mentor – I really, really did this.

It’s been rather surreal and I am still not sure I have adequate words to explain the great excitement and awe that fill my being. I tried pinching myself to be sure it was happening, because remember, it was not supposed too. Yet, pictures speak a thousand words. In this case they only needed to speak five – I had done this, really!

Thanks to all those that journey with me, supported me, wiped my tears and undoubtedly will continue to do that as I listen to and respond to how God wants to me to use this degree and how i will live into my new title of Rev. Dr. Kelly Moore!

So what? what?? Really?? can be summoned up in “I did it”!