Gathering the Gleanings: Reflections on Life in the Ministry

Undoubtedly, you have heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”. (Hilary Clinton). I saw a meme the other day that has me pondering and wondering. The meme said something like “…it also takes a village to support and raise an adult”.

So true. As simple as it may be to read or even say, it’s actually profound and caused me to stop. I looked at myself, and wondered what and where are my village(s) and who are the people in the village(s)?

I began to sense that perhaps there were several small villages that helped form me into the complex person I am. I further wondered how does this all work? Multiple villages, yet one person?

I wondered- do I merge the villages and make them a single city? Or do I allow them to flow together naturally and intersect like a Venn diagram?

Yes, that’s it a Venn diagram. That is what feels right; I have lots of little villages that somehow interact together. My first village is formed by my beautiful family – a husband, three fantastic children, and four energetic grandsons.

Another village is mainly my medical team – that is beyond amazing. I marvel at how they keep up with my ever changing body; a body full of challenges to say the least.

Then there are my professional villages: my Trellis village; my Moravian village; my Lutheran village, my village as pastor of Our Saviour’s (Welcome). Oh, and there is my village of friends.

Somewhere I knew there was common ground, a place where they touch and in some way form a bond. Looking at the place where they all touched, I realized in the center of my village is God.

If it weren’t for the middle village of the Venn diagram, the other worlds would be train wrecks, volcanoes erupting, sinking sand, all trying to make up my life and ending up needing to be held together with duct tape that had lost it’s tackiness.

Thankfully I think I have a solid relationship with the center where all my villages overlap to help me be the person that God created and still calls me to be. However, let me be transparent that relationship has far more wobbles than I would like to admit.

There are dry spells, when nothing is going right, I am drained, I become less sure of my gifts or my likeability. I question every move I make in each of those small villages that really rely on that center to be a solid foundation. Yet at the same time, that center can not be so rigid that it does not have the ability to ebb and flow as my life rides the currents of being a living being.

I am blessed to have people in each of those villages that help raise me, so to speak. Those who hold me up when I feel as if I’m falling or failing because of the reality that tough things begin to penetrate my villages.

Especially during these times, I, need to remember that there are people in the center, near the core who have my best interest at heart and seamlessly love me. And certainly never cease praying for me. They do indeed help raise me up.

There are family members who never fail to say I love you – I love you sweetie, I love you mom and I love you Oma. These words keep me moving and help being together a blessed time.

However, families are families and there are disagreements and hurtful things said. Yet my family village has a magical way of working it’s way through it all. When I am connected to God, talking to God, it is easier for me be a part of the fabric of reconciliation and a safe haven for all, instead of hiding in the landfill that the mess has left behind.

My medical teams are invested in my health and me being the healthiest version of me that I can be. This is no small task with someone with significant chronic illnesses, mental health struggles, and fear. It takes this village to stand firm and never giving up on me when I have given up one my body functioning “normally”.

There are the multitude of “callings” I’ve answered and therefore they become villages of sorts. The Moravian Church, the Lutheran Church (ELCA), Our Saviour’s and Trellis. I become overly invested in each of these almost to my deterrent. I love each of these worlds and at times they exhaust me emotionally, physically and spiritually.

My school friends, friends from the University of Lethbridge, to Moravian Seminary, to Hood Theological Seminary. These friends helped me graduate, cheered me on and gave me confidence I did not know I had. How could I have gotten my Doctor of Ministry when I was told I would never even graduate high school, seminary, now my family, friends believed in me – they were part of my educational villeage! The mentors, my advisor, and the man who would sometimes push me (all the way from Washington State). They too are a part of that team.

Let’s talk about my friendship village. This village often finds people from all the other villages. Yet I sometimes forget they exist. I push them away. In all honesty when I think I can handle it all by myself I push them so far away that they sit outside the Venn diagram all together. They simply float around or at best linked together by the smallest of threads.

And when that happens God is usually out there also because its times like that, that I also kick God out. Guess what? My world begins to crumble and I feel as if I am alone, that I am not good enough to have people interacting with me, I start to sink into a pit of low self-esteem, I blame and shame myself for everything that goes wrong, I get through the days acting as I am fine when in reality I am spirally down extremely fast, the abyss of darkness surrounds me.

To you my friends, no matter, where you find yourself in life – you have a village behind you, beside you cheering you on. Doing the things that good and safe villages do. Sometime it doesn’t feel like there are others around, however I know they are.

In pits of my darkest hours, days, month, years, there was a village of people waiting for me to allow them to love me in ways I did not even know I needed, never mind imagined possible.

Sometimes, it does feel as if they are hiding out there or worse yet not there at all and you will never see the light of a bright village. I invite you to keep going; keep looking for the light. Soon you will find your village, a village full of people you will love and be loved right back.

Amidst years of torture I found, years later, my village, a husband, three children, and son in law, four precious grandsons, a mom like person, a church family (that I believe loves me in spite of my mistakes) and so many others I just can not name. My villages were coming together not floating around, trying to settle me so I could be connected to each of them and the center of my being.

At the center of my Venn diagram, the center of me, is God, a God that calls me by name, claims me and walks beside me, every side of me – above, beneath, behind, on my left, on my right and in front guiding me. God is with you also. I pray each day for God to remind me of God’s unconditional love for me and for you.

My friends, I call you friends because I care and will be part of your village if you ask, you also will be reminded that God is in the center of your village also!